Emerald Pastures is back on-line but at a slightly different address.

Click here --- > Emerald Pastures

Or go here --- > http://vandarkala.i.ph

Hello everybody,

I'm in Cebu right now. I had the chance to meet Tessa and Ariane. It just so happened that Floi's, so we all kind of hung out a bit at this club called Vudu.

Anyway, you're all also wondering whatever happened to Emerald Pastures. Unfortunately, some changes occurred with the host so I'm trying to fix it right now so they'll migrate all of the data that I had to whatever platform they're using now. I'm not sure what's going to happen with the URL but I'll keep everyone informed.

Apparently both my blogs have been listed as semi-finalists in the Philippine Blog Awards. I've been without internet connection for so long that I didn't even know. I just learned about it this morning through a friend who actually reads my stuff. First I thought Emerald Pastures was the only one that made it through but when I checked, even Dalvi, which I don't think is a very good blog at all - was also in the list.

There are 142 semi-finalists. I'm not even going to hope to make it to the finals as I'm sure there are many out there that are better blogists.

Sigh...

If you're really interested in what's been going on, please go to http://vandarkala.i.ph/mt/emeraldpastures

Here's the new one. Any more comments?? I'm still more inclined to the proposed layout because it carries a lot more substance that the current layout. Let's say there's someone who doesn't know a thing or two about making web pages or blogging and he just so happened to come across this site, he's much more likely to understand the proposed layout over the current one.

New proposed

Oh, and here's some pictures from my birthday. :)


Drake modeling his toy


Kyla mesmerized by the TV


Kyla and me

Please tell me which is better and why. Leave a comment or email me. Take into consideration the overall look, style, colors, fonts, etc. Also, take note of the tag lines and the positioning of the login and password as well as the domain search and free trial button. Finally, also go over the content. You might want to ask yourself the following questions: Does it attract me? Does it entice me? Does it make me read through it and consider? Does it make me interested? More importantly, if I didn't know diddly squat about the internet, would I understand the product that is being offered?

Thanks thanks thanks

This is the proposed home page layout




This is the current home page layout

More pictures from my birthday!!



My birthday cake



Kyla lounging on the new day bed.

*** post edited *** have edited the pics for your conveniece.

Birthday Pics


Here're some of the birthday pictures. Not my pictures of course but my niece Kyla and nephew Drake who had the honors of blowing the candles on my humble humble cake.

I don't have an image editor in this pc so you have to bear with me on these pictures because they're kinda dark but most especially with the first one where you'll probably have to tilt your head to the right a little to appreciate it.

These were just taken with my sister's phone which, unfortunately, at that time, I think wasn't set up to take bigger resolution. demmit.



Kyla blowing the candles



Kyla again



Drake wanted to blow the candles this time

August 30 2004

I just signed my first O.R. a few minutes ago. I didn't realize I was even authorized to do that. Apparently I am. I was so dumbstruck I didn't even bother to read what it was for, not that I suspect it was for anything that I shouldn't have signed. The girl quipped something about me being a manager. That was sort of an ego boosting moment for me but then again, if that truly is the case, I'm one clueless manager.

I turned 23 a few days ago. Yet another year had passed. The door was ajar as it always is when I wake up and the heat had already crept into the living room. Nothing was particularly different. Everything was the way it should be or as I expected them to be. Everything was unremarkable. Just as every other birthday that's come and gone in the past few years. There were no birthday gifts waiting to be un-wrapped neither was there a celebration being prepared nor did I have plans of my own.

I slept earlier than usual the night before, so my phone was already full of messages from well-wishers and friends in the morning. They were the usual people with a few new ones - friends, acquaintances and co-workers I had met and made in the 365 days between birthdays. I was looking forward to a birthday spent in relative comfort since birthdays only fall on weekends once every several years. I expected this peace to be dinstinctly obliterated as soon as my nephew and niece arrived.

There was some food, of course, but just your regular fare. Nothing fancier than a regular meal you'd have in a day at work. My family rarely eats at home and if we do, we rarely ever eat at the same time. So it is, in some ways, a chance for us to do something together. A lot of other families might have this sort of thing occur every night at dinner or at least on Sundays, we have it when there is an occassion for it. Then again, the only indication that this was a birthday at all was a cake and a few boisterous jeers and cheers.

The other day, a good friend asked me if I was still basking in the after-glow of my birthday, this being the week immediately after. Unfortunately, there is no after-glow and there never was. My birthdays have always been rather low-key. Sometimes I just prefer it that way, other times I just don't make the effort to see people or prepare any activities. I also like the idea of keeping my birthday to myself just to see who remembers. It's not an absoulte and clear indication of whoever cares for you but, just the same, it tells you who cares enough to keep track of birthdays. Somtimes, it might just surprise me who does. This year wasn't full of surprises.

Being 23 doesn't feel any more different than how I felt a day before my birthday or any of the days before that for as long as I can remember. In time I will feel the changes as my life on this earth steadily wears aways my body but I suppose that I am still on my way up to that place people call the prime of my life. In concept, I do feel older, in that at 23 I've already had so many experiences outside the comfortable and familiar environments of home and school having graduated a bit early and having been introduced to the nuances of the real world even earlier. And, yet, when you or I really think about it, 23 is so young. I haven't even begun to taste the bittersweet offerings of this life. I do realize, however, that time slows down for no one, and while I easily enjoy youth for the moment, it just as easily will slip away, inexorably and inevitably. That's why I am pressured - pressured to excel, to succeed and achieve everything that I've ever dreamed of achieving, and at the same time enjoy myself and my youth while doing it - as is anybody else who knows the true meaning of fulfillment. I know it sounds so idealistic but I pride myself in the fact that I've remained true to my values so far after college when others become disillusioned. But, as my friend said, she too felt invincible when she was 23, who knows how I will feel when I'm much much older?

It's funny, really, how people feel so much older than they really are or think that their experiences in life have made them so much more mature for their age. (It's even funnier how some people keep saying "matured" and not "mature", the former being a verb and the latter an adjective. While it is still technically correct, in terms of common and proper usage it isn't. Just a side note.) In a way, people want to be perceived as mature - it being such a wonderful virtue - but are we really? Sometimes we judge ourselves either too hastily or in much too good a light. Having realized this, I have to admit that I might be more mature than I was before but not nearly as mature as I would like to be. Again, in time, this shall come to pass but for the moment, I will have to do with what I have learned so far.

P.S.

I did receive gift. Just yesterday. The same friend who asked about basking in the after glow of my birthday had some food delivered to my office - a rosemary chicken sandwich, iced tea and a "my little oscar" cake. For that, many thanks. I also received a journal, custom-made with brown pseudo-parchment paper, a couple of weeks before.

I will post pictures from my birthday soon.

Please visit my new site:

The Human War Experiment

For a few more quick laughs, you can also check these two:

Chona

Very Secret Diaries

The first one is sort of the complete opposite of Caffeine Rush and the second is a parody on the Lord of the Rings series.

You guys have got to see this journal. This is just about one of the funnies reads you could ever find. And you have to see the comments too. The guy has a post that has 180 comments.

Caffeine Rush

August 13, 2004 17:37 PST

Friday the thirteenth

It's been so long since I lasted posted anything here. Actually, it's only been eight days but it just seemed so long. I've been focusing more on Emerald Pastures, which is more about good content and crisp writing for me than anything else. It does focus on a them that is centered on my discovery of the Ortigas area but I feel as if it is slowly diverging to other topics.

I hope whoever is reading this can visit the other one too. Anyway, somebody pointed out to me that the date isn't being published. I tried tweaking the template set up but can't seem to get it right. So I suppose I'll just do it the more barbaric way and type the date myself.

That's it.

Here's the complete list of all my sites.

Dalvi
Photo Gallery
Letters to Angel

This one's new

Emerald Pastures

The question:

how can we stop the new proposed tax bills???

The answer:

First you must ask, should we stop them? The problem with people is that when they hear tax, they automatically don't want anything to do about it. Fact is, these taxes are the ones that keep the economy going, it helps the government perform its duties. Of course there is corruption, but with everything else being equal and just, tax is a good thing. We should ask ourselves first what value this tax can offer us. What is it for? Who will have to pay? Has it been properly justified by the law-makers? If we find that there is no reason to have a new tax or scheme implemented, then that is that time we act to stop it.

The question:

Birth Control Bill - Would the government kill children if the mother had a multiple birth? (from a pinoycentral member)

The answer:

Of course not, it is absurd to even think that.

I believe they are creating a program that will give incentives to those who follow it. An example would be higher tax exemptions for couples with up to 2 children or additional benefits in SSS and Pag-Ibig. In some countries, couples actually have to pay higher tax if they have children or if they exceed a certain number. This could also be implemented. In fact, I believe the tax-penalty should be implemented to dissuade couples from building large families. It is an unfortunate fact of life that only those who can afford to have large families should be the ones who can. We cannot keep on depending on an already battered and unreliable government to sustain families that are needy. I am all for this program. Not only will it discipline couples to practice family planning but it is a definite and aggressive answer to the growing problem of over-population and all issues that go hand-in-hand with it.

The question:

What would you have done with the Angelo dela Cruz Issue?

The answer:

Certainly there is not one easy answer to this situation, in fact we are faced with a vast array of dilemmas and each one has to be considered. That is politics. It is especially difficult to gauge the correct course of action whenever a human life is involved, more so when this is weighed against political imagery and money matters. These are cases where the concept of the greater good comes in handy. We have to ask who will benefit, how many, what kind of benefits will they receive, etc, etc. The situation is hard enough as it is, determining the greater good could complicate things. In the end, the decision has to be made and made quickly. However, I for one would have to chosen to stand my ground. But that's another story.

God's new rules...

What if God comes to you one day and tells you the following:

Henceforth, I shall be more active in my Godly duties. I shall now impose on you a few simple rules that have to be followed precisely in order to enter the gates of heaven. However, I will also implement a quick incentives-and-punishments system, monitored closely by my angels, of course, to promote the new commandments and otherwise dissuade unauthorized activities.

First and foremost, seeing that you have all but desecrated the value of sex and have basically humped each other till kingdom come, sex shall now be a sin. You may only have sex within a marriage and only if you have less than 3 children..no..make that 2 children. However, I will also decrease the probability of getting pregnant to 40%. As such, you can have a little bit more sex but not as much as before. As an incentive, males will be able to endure multiple high-intensity orgasms lasting for a duration of at least 3 minutes each. Women, on the other hand, will experience a single orgasm for the entire duration of the intercourse starting from the exact point of penetration to the point of extraction. As punishment for failure to follow this rule, there are a few options depending on the severity of the case. Erring males may face penalties beginning from castration to curving their penises so gravely that it would be impossible to perform any sexual function. Females on the other hand will be punished with 12 pound babies. And before I forget, any activity that can or may lead to orgasm is considered sex except for masturbation. However, masturbation is considered sex if it is performed with another individual. Another thing that you will like is that I have eradicated all sexually transmitted diseases.

Second, as a side note to the first rule, masturbation will remain legal but only up to 2 times a day. The pleasure factor of this activity will remain as it is and the count is based on the number of climaxes. It is agreed that the day begins at exactly 00:01 am. As such, you may have at most 4 orgasm in succession through masturbation - two before 00:01 am and two after. Failure to follow this will result in either impotence or failure to achieve climax for a maximum of three years.

Third, pornography is now legal since the first two rules have basically brought down any pleasure factor that pornography can provide. Take due note that because of the previous rules, if actual intercourse is involved in the film, only married couples may play roles in it. Any other sexual acts must only be imitated.

Fourth, it is now a sin to have body fat composition higher than 20% for males and 40% for females. To make things easier for everybody, I will drop everybody who is now alive to their optimum fat composition except those that are already below it. Babies born on or after January 1, 2005 will automatically be fit, so all they have to do is maintain their physique. As an incentive, exercise will now burn three times more calories than it used to but, at the same time, fattening products such as Big Macs and Pork Rind are now twice as fattening, but that's still an advantage for you. And to make things easier for everybody, 1 calorie will correspond to 1 minute on the treadmill at a zero degree incline at 3 kms/hr.

Fifth, all types of drugs are now legal. It is now also free. Let's see what happens. Note that by drugs I do not mean medicine.



To be continued....

Pictures at jojo's bday.



Dex, Me, Chawi and Jojo



The Gang



Caught in the act. Lei, reaching for the...Salt??

A reminder for me:

Get letter of invitation from Cecille Ejercito, 35th Floor Discovery Suites Aug 6 2004, 11 am
Assessment Center is on Aug 12 2004 from 8 am to 6 pm.

That by the way is Mang Edgar, Barbero Extraordinaire at Peter's Barbershop.

Nagpapagupit!!

Thea and me having fun with neoprints

Random Pics



Patty Laurel



Jane Castro



Jex in Boracay

Kyla, Me, Drake

another poem

Broken

I've been broken one hundred fold
All by faces without names
My stories told without preaching
Shattered silly with foolish games

Distant is the warmth of ember
Spread apart by ocean tides
Held too close once before
Where shivers live, there I die

Sheets are wet with perspiration
Cold the fear with which I live
My mouth is dry, lips are sealed
Shall I break or shall I heave

I've been blistered all throughout
By the ghosts of awry lies
In the end, it goes without saying
All my pieces, tears run dry

Life

I am your life, lonely rider
These are stones on a bumpy road
Walk me slowly, little stranger
Tread carefully this narrow route

I am your life, lowly wanderer
Journey's end might be abrupt
Take me through it, mighty ranger
Plead our strength is quite enough

I am your life, able brother
Inch by inch, go thee yonder
Surely, quickly, lovely sister
Step by step, one or other

I am your life, friendly neighbor
Take my arm, send me over
Breathe in deep, meek by-passer
To the end, come now hither

Some pretty old pics I never posted.



At Colayco, many years ago. Maybe 4 years. Judging by the Bible on the table, this was probably 3rd year. That's me with short hair.



A sort of final get-together before stepping out and on to the real world. Dated March 2 2002.



Also at the get-together. Looking forward to what lies ahead.



A very very very long time ago. And I have hair on my forehead? Taken at Chinky's debut, 1998.



On the last day. Dex modelling a Philo book with Chinky.



The gang on blue roast, prior graduation 2002.



Group hug at graduation.



Singing the Ateneo Hymn.

Whew, that was a lot of pics.

Ever more pictures.



Best friends. Jojo and Strawbs.



On the way to Tagaytay. After graduation.



At Jojo's place, 2003 (I think). Me, Kye, Jojo and Zeb.

Drake and Kyla Pics



Drake and Kyla modelling the neighbors car.



Appropriately named "Twist". Drake in an attempt to break his own neck. :P

March 22 2004

A little gathering with friends.



Jojo, Strawbs, Phanie, France, Me, Dex, Kye and Chawi.



A more complete picture.

Jojo, Strawbs, Phanie, Nin, Gian, Ric, France, Leah, Me, Dex, Kye and Chawi.



After dinner. Dex, Gian, Nin, Me, Jojo, France and Leah, pondering in the background.

This is really funny:

A man escapes from a prison where he has
been kept for 15 years. He breaks into a house to
look for money and guns and finds a young couple
in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties
him to a chair.

While tying the girl to the bed he gets on top
of her, kisses her on the neck, then gets up and
goes into the bathroom.

While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:
"Listen, this guy is an escaped prisoner, look
at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time
in jail, and hasn't seen a woman in years.

I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex,
don't resist, don't complain, do what he tells
you, just give him satisfaction, no matter how
much he ravages you. This guy is probably
dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us.
Be strong, honey. I love you".

To which the wife responds, "He wasn't kissing
my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me
he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked if
we kept any Vaseline in the bathroom. I told him
where to find it. Be strong, honey. I love you, too."

To my friend:

Much can be said about a blade of grass
as much as the thoughts in our head.

Do we listen eagerly enough to figure out
if all to be said has been said?

Many times we forget that some swords have
two edges and some stories have two ends.

Lord, forgive me. I could not help myself. :)

2. Gloria Macapagal Arroyo - I know very little about politics to actually bash this person. As such, I will focus more on her physical qualities. Haha. And you will have to bear with me on this one because it might just make you hate me for being a jerk. First, isn't she just tiny? She's like a little elf stuffed into a pastel suit. Or a wee little leprechaun. I'm pretty sure all the world's leaders are rolling around in their heads in amusement. Second, doesn't she just have the worst voice you could ever imagine any president of having. She squeaks. It's just irritating. It's just one of those things that you absolutely loathe without knowing why. It's like a stench, you can't really decipher or understand the chemical and electrical signals that pass from your nose to your brain but it just leaves you wretching in disgust. And why does she have to speak english all the time? Did she have an adviser tell her that her voice is actually a lot worse when she speaks Filipino? Finally, doesn't she just have the most excruciatingly annoying pout you have ever seen. Let's not forget her toothy smile. It's like you just wanna grab her face and rip it off her skull.

For lack of anything better to write, I'm going to write about some personalities (and bash them).

1. Boy Abunda - I just recently heard that he's regarded as the Philippine's top talk show host or something of that sort. He is purportedly frank, straight to the point and intelligent (emphasis on intelligent). I have had the opportunity to catch a few glimpses of the buzz. Certainly, with the pseudo-intellectual flair in the way he talks, the tailored suits and the snazzy guests, who wouldn't think, at first glance, that THe Buzz was in fact an intelligent show? But hold on, after closer perusal and an agonizing longer look at the show, you find that it's all but a complex hoax!! First and foremost, he's an old balding homosexual fer cryin' out loud!! Nah, just kidding. Hold on to your seats. I suppose it's not a surprise that people (well, at least the less educated and less reflective ones) perceive him and his show to be intellectual simply because he speaks pretty well. Not that well, but pretty well. He doesn't really say anything longer than a few words, mind you. Plus the fact that his vocabulary is downright unimpressive and the way he constructs his senteces. However, what's more important is the topics they go about and those little games they play. I couldn't bear watching one time when he started shouting (yes, shouting) out the most inane words you could imagine for a little game of word association, words such as heart, mind, pillow, etc., etc. What's even worse is he subsequently breaks down all the elements in their childish little game and proceed to basically proclaim the guest a hero or an artist or even a saint. It's foolish, I tell you. Foolish. Oh well, what can I say? It is a show, a fool's show.

Check out some of my other sites:

My Picture Gallery
Preposterous Undertakings

Conozco Tu Cara (Revised)

I know your face

I know it only too well in
wakeful sleeping dreams

I have seen it many times before
in the corners of my eyes

I have glimpsed it in the
blinding rays of the sun

It is the face that lies
immersed in brilliant lights

I know it as the face that
vanishes in the darkness

It is the face that basks
in the shadow's plight

It is the face that turns
away when I come looking

I know your face, perhaps
you also know mine

July 5, 2004

The dying man's dreams die with him
His life drains away like the ebbing of the tide
His voice fades to but an echo of a distant whisper
His breathe wanes like the midnight lights
The sparkling luster of his eyes turn to somber grey
And brilliant glow of his skin disappears
As the hood of the reaper hides him away
He is now just the cold embers of a doused flame
The failing twinkle of an ageing star

June 26 2004

Conozco tu cara

I know your face

I know it only too well in
wakeful and sleeping dreams

I have seen it many times
before in the corners of
my eyes

I have glimpsed it in the
blniding rays of the sun

I know it as the face that
vanishes in the darkness

I know your face, do you
know mine?

June 25 2004

Breathe now for tomorrow the world will end
and when it comes you will no longer have
any use for breath nor air.

Walk now for tomorrow the earth will crumble
at your feet and there will be no sand to
carry your footsteps and soil to remember
your footprints.

Look now yonder for tomorrow the horizon will
fall into nothing until all but blackness
covers what used to be the skies.

Listen now to the whispers for tomorrow there
will be nothing but thunder and flurry until
finally deafening silence falls to your ears.

Touch now the smooth and rough edges of these
rocks for tomorrow there will only be emptiness
and the cold wind of nothingness.

Sleep now so tomorrow you will not have to wake
but if you do, pray wish that this all be but
a dream.


Unmemory

Remind me not to look back at my memories but
that I read them as if they were not my own.

I fear they will only bring me sadness when I
reminisce and regret if I remember.

Too many days have fleetingly passed before
my eyes and too many days have been left
unremembered.

I do not know what to make of this life construed
upon the fragile edges of my memories.

A life built on ruins and rubble, too many and
too undone, too brittle, the puzzle has not begun.

God taught me a lesson in life. I wanted one thing he gave me another. I wanted beauty and was endeared by sophistication; he gave me instead simplicity and humility both of which bear such value no man can find. I coveted wealth yet in its place he blessed me with friends, which no amount of riches could replace. He gave me courage when I turned to fear and strength when I gloomed in tears. I sought knowledge yet he blessed me with discernment, enough to figure out who I want to be. In the end it all meant one thing, freedom.

Two weeks of prolific energy

June 16 2004

An Ode to the Steadily Forgotten

It is a sad life you live
Your footsteps are shadowed by weakness
Your footprints marred by regret
Blood trails the path you tread
And whispers fill the air you breathe
You had a name no one remembers
An existence everybody forgets
A presence nobody feels
And your heartbeat is the only sound that fills your head
Pray tell me who you are, you who live the life of the steadily forgotten.

June 2004

Meanderings

Mistakes must be forgotten and victories remembered,
failures buried and triumphs glorified.
Look back at those titans we slew and how heavily
they fell to the earth.
They were once great, great as we are now.
And they fell as surely as we too shall fall by
the hands of those who aspire for the same greatness.
But it is our time now.
We are the predators and they the prey.
Take heed the call of glory and bring forth what is duly yours.

June 2004

To Age

You look almost like her but without a doubt definitely older.
The lines of your face are more refined. The curve of your back
stronger and more defined. The way you speak more mature. It is
obvious that you have been tempered by time and age has brought out
your bittersweet character.

June 15 2004

Sa Mga Lumipas na Sandali

Madalas akong wala sa sarili
Tahimik o di maka-imik
Naghahanap ng kung anumang bagay na di maaaring
angkinin at di lubusang maintindihan
Umuusisa sa kung anumang bagay na di kayang hawakan
at di man lang madampian
Ganon talaga ang buhay ika nga
Pawang walang katapusan habang tayo'y bata
ngunit paiksi nang paiksi sa ating pagtanda.

June 10 2004

Sa bukas

Sindalisay ng wikang kinagisnan
Sintamis ng pagibig ng inang hinahagkan
Ito ang yapos ng maliwanag na bukas na
aking dinaratnan
Malayo at makislap
Malapit ngunit mailap
Ito ang kapalaran nating lubos
na mapagpanggap

June 10 2004

Me

I have yet to uncover the ends of my hubris.
My passion it seems has no bounds.
My anger and loathing are apparently endless.
And my desire infinite.
My mind would be everywhere and anywhere were
it no for the fear, regret and shame that
bind it.
Shadows of the past unforgotten and unresolved,
distinct in their madness and strong
is their will.

June 10 2004

Di ko nais na maging ganito. Na umabot sa sukdulan
ang lahat. Na pumanaw ang ngiti sa labi mo.
Na gumising ang luha sa iyong mata. Ni minsan hindi
ko hiniling na mawala sa iyong piling.

June 10 2004

Aking mundo

Aking mundo, wag mo akong sakalin.
Di ako makahinga sa kapal ng usok,
di makakita sa dilim ng langit,
at di makagalaw sa kapal ng yurak
na bumabalot sa akin.
Aking mundo, bitiwan mo ako.
Matagal mo na rin akong hinahagkan
ngunit nais ko nang kumawala.
Hawakan mo na lang ang aking kamay,
yapusin mo ako sa isang huling
sandali at pakawalan.
Aking mundo, paalam.

another hip hop pose... :)

gangsturr...:)



heef hoff

Apparently it doesn't matter how long I haven't seen you or how long I haven't touched you. Neither does it matter how long we haven't talked or even how long I've forgotten you. Clearly because I saw you again yesterday, touched you, talked to you and then I remembered that once before I fell for you and I fall for you once again. And now I can't forget. I can't forget how I saw you smile, felt you touch and heard you laugh. And I can't remember how I could ever forget.

I am a glowing shard of steel.

Strike me and I will bend to your will.
Douse me and I will harden like concrete.

I am young.

Teach me and I will learn.
Loose me into the world and I will grow strong.

The metal is hot, strike it!

The transporter




The transporter caught red-handed by the copperss...

I was just wondering, why are the drinks at convenience stores never cold? It's not like these things fly off their refrigerator shelves at 1 a minute, so there is absolutely no excuse for them not to be. I'm betting that this is one huge global conspiracy to drive up the demand for ice.

The gang...



The sikyo...



The drive-thru girl...

Nie...getting thinner in the states.

The Maersk Basketball Team



obviously, i'm number 21

from left to right

Aileen, Kitty, Mang Romy, Chris, Carlo L., Dan, Wilky, Sid, Carlo I., Rene, Me, Chris L., Neil, Oliver and Brian.

In action...

on one hand, indelible ink



and on the other...

But some would not be justified if left without explanation



Kristine Jaka and some other girl. Alas, I wasn't able to take pictures of the scrumptious Pony Girls. :(



Mild Seven Girls or maybe they just happened to be hanging out by the Mild Seven booth.



Three Mild Seven promo girls and one apparently ecstatic yet horny thin guy.



Their best pose yet.

But some stories are better told with images, not words.

The Bondage Girls

Every picture has a story.



This is Lally, Brian's girlfriend. She works as an event planner for RX 93.1 but resigned just yesterday. And that means no more freebies, VIP entraces to events & premieres, and no more FHM parties. This picture was taken around about 830 pm yesterday while waiting for one of our friends. We were on our way to what could be our last free event, the FHM President Elect Party at Libis.

It's been a while, Blog. It's been a while.

Some funky words:

solecism
- something deviating from proper, normal or accepted order
- a breach of etiquette or decorum

simulacrum
- image, representation
- an insubstantial form or semblance of something

and the best for last

collywobbles
- bellyache

At last, a post!!!!

Well, not exactly. Just some pictures.



Taken just last night.



Taken sometime in February, aptly titled "taken b4 root canal"

Invites

My friend just gave me 10 invites to the BPI edge launch. Food and drinks are supposedly free. There're two simultaneous parties, 1 in gb3 and another in libis. So i have 10 invites - that makes 1 for me and 9 that i don't know what to do with. If you so happen to be reading this right now and you wanna go, just text me. But i think i've just about covered 4 of the invites so that leaves 5. :)

A post I made in Elaine's Blog

ton in elaine's shoes
elaine's room is a mess. i can walk from one end to the other with half a step. right now she is rummaging through my wallet. she's just served me with sangria and it's made me a bit woozy...oddly enough, i find that i become much more fluent when drunk. not that i'm drunk, just woozy. or so it appears that way, i am intoxicated after all. her house is also very far...not that it matters, but any potential boyfriend would find this to be a bit of an inconvenience. there are two rooms in her house. perfect for two people. but due to some inane reason, they have decided to sleep in one room - the smaller one. the room is a veritable breeding ground for disease, given the fact that two people sleep, smoke and otherwise live here...there are tons of places where dirt, dust and other forms of organisms may hide and thrive...places like nooks and crannies and bedsheets and mattresses and cabinets and drawers and stuffed toys... i don't know how they have sex in this place. haha... one person leaves, she says. of course, otherwise it'd be an orgy. interesting. not because it's an orgy, but it boggles me how it might be possible to have an orgy in such a small space...interesting. anyway, mahaba na ang nasulat ko. kailangan itaguyod ko na ang salitang pinoy. kailangan magamit rin paminsan minsan ang wikang kinagisnan bagamat di ako kasing talinhaga rito kumpara sa ingles. nakakatuwang isipin na hindi na naiintindihan ni elaine ang pinagsasabi ko. yun na lang.

I'm terribly sick. I've been going to work seven days a week for the past month, putting in 12 hour days on weekdays and staying up really really late. I played a hell of a lot of basketball friday night last week then went straight to makati to hang out with some friends. I'm not complaining about work because work's been great. It hasn't been heavy or stressful, it's just that work has a different schedule. In fact, I like going to work on weekends because it's so much more relaxed. Basically, I've just been abusing myself (ahem...not in that way!). So I'm sick.

Leah's Blog

Here's a site that I'd like to recommend. There's not much in it yet but I'e always liked how she writes.

WHITESKYPROJECT

Sometime around January 25 2003

Last night I was awakened by my cellphone ringing. It was this 17 year old girl named Yani who I knew very little about. Of the little I knew, the most stunning and remarkable was that she was most of the time depressed. She told me that her boyfriend had died last year while they were in Tagaytay. He was stabbed 21 times in front of her eyes by a group of young men intent on "getting to know her." What happened after that is a mystery. From then on, she said she had become "wild". It was something she shared openly, and of which seemed truly proud. And it was true. She barely studied and frequently took drugs

I answered the phone only to be hung up on. It was typical of her to ring me in the middle of the night for no reason at all. I called her up only to be hung up on again to my obvious irritation. I sent her a message asking what was up with her only to be answered by her cousin who said that she was gone("..la na cya eh."). And so I asked where she had gone and when she would be coming back, thinking that she might have gone to the states or to Germany, her father's home country. To my dismay her cousin told me she had died the previous Sunday, just 5 days earlier. She had died in her sleep.

She had overdosed on some ecstacy pills. If it was an accident or an action taken out of her own free will no one knows but what I do know is that she could have been perfectly capable of taking her own life. I wasn't surprised at all. It was almost inevitable, merely a matter of time. She had talked about it frequently, about taking her life and she had all the signs of a suicidal person. She had attempted many times before. It was just a matter of everything falling into place. The right time, the right amount of drugs, the perfect solitude and just the right amount of angst and depression and initiative.

Often I greeted her by asking if she was still depressed.

It was odd how her cousin acted so nonchalantly. She said she was using Yani's phone because she was the one who had paid for the credits. How pragmatic of her. She also said that they used to be the best of cousins before Yani went wild. Odder still. She apologized for not having told me earlier. How could she. She never even knew me. Unfortunately the burial was over and I could do nothing more. Come to think of it, I was as nonchalant about it as her cousin. My sisters and I even joked about Yani actually being the one who rang my phone that night. No wonder she never replied to my messages.

So someone dies and I don't care. Do you? Here I am mesmerized by my own problems, succumbed to avarice, blissfully unaware and gleefully ignorant, pretending that I have problems more mature, deeper than a 17 year old's and yet my problems are not as fatal.

How could that be possible. Here we are thinking that we have problems much more mature than when we had graduated and problems much more challenging - problems more phiilosophical even. And this girl has problems about losing a loved one and who knows what else. And she takes her life.

When I learned about her death, all I could say was "what a waste."

What a waste indeed.

===

My bestfriend eagerly replied to this one when I emailed it to her.

She said:

hi ton! read your email about this girl yani. it was
indeed a sad sorry. i really the way you write, very
organized, very clear, very direct to the point, but
not boring. There's a bit of formality in the way you
write, but at the same time, make it sound personal
(cuz it is i guess) hehehe.

kawawa naman...you're right, "what a waste."
but didn't you think you could have helped her? in any
way? the fact the you knew she was depressed, didn't
that call you to some responsibility? at least make
her feel that she has you as a friend? make her feel
that you care? i read your email and i didn't feel
like there was emotion from your part, i guess that's
why it made it sound so formal...personal but at the
same time impersonal. your email sounded just a story
of some girl, somebody unrelated to you.... not
connected to you. you look at it as if it's something
to analyze, not something to do something about. what
does this experience call you to do? getting
acquainted to her and knowing her problem, what did
this call you to do? :)

la lang. i guess her story made me sad. did you even
try to make her feel loved? (hehehehe...here i go
again, with my love love stuff. hehehe)..pero talaga
kasi, to be loved is the first thing we need.... the
one thing that gives us the strenght and the hope....a
child who was give abundant love by her parents grows
up sharing that love to otehrs....and our purpose
everyday is life is to learn to be more loving....
what's my point? i'll get back to you. gotta get back
to work! mmmwah! God bless you!

===

interesting arguments i must say. :)

We always have to be careful with the things we do and the choices we make because our worsts regrets are waiting for us at our deathbeds.

I have to give up now with a smile on my face.

cachinnate \KAK-uh-nayt\verb
: to laugh loudly or immoderately

baksheesh \BAK-sheesh\noun
: payment (as a tip or bribe) to expedite service

effusive \ih-FYOO-siv\ adjective
*1 : marked by the expression of great or excessive emotion or enthusiasm
2 : characterized or formed by a nonexplosive outpouring of lava

Dear Angel,

The myst that hides you simply frustrates me. I seek to understand something that might not wish to be understood at all. I struggle to hear that which might not want to be heard. I strain to get a glimpse of that which might never be seen.

word for the day:

putative \PYOO-tuh-tiv\ adjective
1 : commonly accepted or supposed
*2 : assumed to exist or to have existed

Example sentence:
Until scientists could identify the putative infectious agent behind the disease, which they assumed to be a virus,
there was no hope of finding a cure.

Courtesy of Merriam-Webster's word of the day.

so many people have asked me about angel. she is without time, without space and without identity because she is noone and nowhere and not anywhere in time. she is who i refer to when i am referring to noone or if im referring to everyone or if i'm referring to someone.

Dear Angel,

Even then when I knew so little you intrigued me but now that I know so much I am in awe. Even then when we were worlds apart you struck me but now that we are so close I am captivated. Even then I longed for you and still I long for you now. You took my breath away then and still you take it away now.

Some words:

revanche \ruh-VAHNSH (vowel in second syllable pronounced nasally)\noun : revenge; especially : a usually political policy designed to recover lost territory or status

devoir \duh-VWAHR\noun : *1 : duty, responsibility 2 : a usually formal act of civility or respect

hypnagogic \hip-nuh-GAH-jik\adjective : of, relating to, or occurring in the period of drowsiness immediately preceding sleep

WYSIWYG \WIH-zee-wig\noun : a display generated by word-processing or desktop-publishing software that exactly reflects the appearance of the printed document

foment \FOH-ment\verb : to promote the growth or development of : rouse, incite

bellwether \BEL-WEH-ther ("th" as in "this")\noun : one that takes the lead or initiative : leader; also : an indicator of trends

I am going to miss these days. In my old age I will look back at all these and smile knowing full well that I have lived my life and enjoyed it. And I will also cry knowing that I will never again be able to live like this again except in distant memories. I am going to long for days like these when I can just about squander all the exuberance of my youth on any triviality that I find fanciful.

Lord,

Spare me from this hate that seethes within me. Spare me from this lust. Keep still my violent heart. Save me from this fire that burns me even while my body trembles from the cold.

Work is so de-motivating. It's not even motivating to being with. Fact is they hired us because we're self-motivated, self-driven. They know that there is little they can do, or little they know how to motivate people. What little motivation I had brewing up within me when I started has all but ebbed away! Somebody find me a job!!!

I find that my appraisal hurt because some of the things said were in one way or another true but not completely. Somehow, I can't help but think maybe I could've done better. But for my commitment to be questioned, how dare they?! My commitment to my responsbility and diligence has always been my pride. How could they question that? Have I not had headaches enough? Have I not spared so many weekends?? Have I not worked far beyond my responsibility? And do they not pay me less than what I am worth? And to be called un-creative? What is that all about? Un-creative because I followed format? How else am I supposed to create a report? It's an effin report in an effin regional format you effin Moron!! Sheesh... And they tell me that as a management trainee I'm supposed to always go the extra mile. What extra mile? I remember being told that I will always work as expected. If I finish a project 1 year in advance, it's still as expected. There is no extra mile! And low EQ? Low EQ my effin ass!! If they had the EQ of a billy goat they'd know the least bit about motivating their employees. Sheesh, low EQ my ass. Mother effin morons don't even know the amount of backstabbing and rumor-mongering goes on around the office about them. Effin morons.

Then what motivation is there for me to work harder?? There is no money here. I can clearly remember being told during the interview, "if you're looking to get rich, you're in the wrong place." Somebody find me a job!!

I guess sometimes some people never try to understand only judge. Today I have once again been judged based on my appearance. I have been called arrogant, dark and unfriendly. I have been criticized for having low EQ and for being so transparent and honest. And I have been advised to put on a lighter personality. "Yes, Anton, you are very intuitive and intelligent but..." I think that was the only thing I heard that was good.

Curious Historical Facts:

SHIT

"In the 16th and 17th centuries, everything has to be transported by ship and it was also before commercial fertilizer's invention, so large shipments of manure were common. It was shipped dry, because in dry form it weighed a lot less than when wet, but once water (at sea) hits it, not only does it become heavier, but the process of fermentation begins again, of which a by-product is methane gas. As the stuff was stowed below decks in bundles you can see what would (and did) happen. Methane began to build up below decks and the if someone came below at night with a lantern, BOOOOOM!Several ships were destroyed in this manner before it was determined just what was happening. After that, the bundles of manure were always stamped with the term (Ship High In Transit) on them, which meant for the sailors to stow it high enough off the lower decks. Thus evolved the term "S.H.I.T." (Ship High In Transit) which has come down through the centuries and is in use to this very day.

FUCK

Even though the acronymic explanations for words such as SHIT, FUCK etc. are indeed interesting and catch our fancy, they are rarely true. FUCK neither stands for:

Fornication Under Consent of the King
Fornication Under Charles the King
Fornication Under Crown of the King
Fornication under Christ, King
Forbidden Under Charter of the King (a sign posted on brothels closed by the Crown)
For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge
Forced Unlawful Carnal Knowledge
File Under Carnal Knowledge (how Scotland Yard marked rape files)or others as widely suggested.

The real origin is by far more tedious...

quote[Fuck] was first recorded in English in the 15th century (few acronyms predate the 20th century), with cognates in other Germanic languages. The Random House Historical Dictionary of American Slang (Random House, 1994, ISBN 0-394-54427-7) cites Middle Dutch fokken = "to thrust, copulate with"; Norwegian dialect fukka = "to copulate"; and Swedish dialect focka = "to strike, push, copulate" and fock = "penis". Although German ficken may enter the picture somehow, it is problematic in having e-grade, or umlaut, where all the others have o-grade or zero-grade of the vowel. AHD1, following Pokorny, derived "feud", "fey", "fickle", "foe", and "fuck" from an Indo-European root peig2 = "hostile"; but AHD2 and AHD3 have dropped this connection for "fuck" and give no pre-Germanic etymon for it. Eric Partridge, in the 7th edition of Dictionary of Slang and Unconventional English (Macmillan, 1970), said that "fuck" "almost certainly" comes from the Indo-European root *peuk- = "to prick" (which is the source of the English words "compunction",
"expunge", "impugn", "poignant", "point", "pounce", "pugilist", "punctuate", "puncture", "pungent", and "pygmy"). Robert Claiborne, in The Roots of English: A Reader's Handbook of Word Origin (Times, 1989) agrees that this is "probably" the etymon. Problems with such theories include a distribution that suggests a North-Sea Germanic areal form rather than an inherited one; the murkiness of the phonetic relations; and the fact that no alleged cognate outside Germanic has sexual connotations.

Dear Angel,

I am writing you now because I know there is a future. A time far beyond when we can look back and recall days gone by such as this, days gone by worth remembering because of simple hugs and kisses or even simple letters offering nothing more than future memories. A time far beyond when I can read to you once again this very same letter so we may relive our memories. And the future looks so much brighter now and sweeter still because I am forging future memories with you.

I am writing you now because the future is uncertain but today is already unfolding, and while today unfolds and the future unravels, the past is slowly building and as I write this letter, I am building my past with you.

LETTERS TO ANGEL

Finding meaning has been the main purpose of my life but now that I have travelled so far, I have come to realize that its meaning is where I once stood, from whence I came in the first place. And now I am retracing my footsteps, slowly backtracking, hoping that when I get back – if I get back – my life’s meaning would still be there.

Teeth Part 2

I went to the dentist again last Sunday. That was the 18th of January. I still had three more teeth to be fixed all of which were prime candidates for root canals as the doctor had informed me. I was hoping that at least one of them could be fixed with just filling but the doctor wasn’t very optimistic. She never was. I hate it when she goes “tsk, tsk, tsk” as she shakes her head while operating on me. It sounds as if I was just about to lose all my teeth or die.

I was hoping she could start on the teeth on my right because one of them already felt like it was going to crack if I bit really hard on it. Instead, she started drilling on the tooth on my left. She said she wanted to see if it could be saved, if the nerve hadn’t been exposed yet. What could I do? She was the doctor and I was a mere patient.

The weird thing about that day was she had this apprentice or something hovering above me while she did her thing. She was a nice looking young lady in the clinic’s trademark green scrubs. She was assisting – a new dentist apparently – said my doctor. I was tapping my fingers the entire time. It’s awkward enough having a person look into your mouth while you’re lying on a chair helpless, what more having two? The girl would peer into my mouth once in a while to see what my dentist was doing. Sometimes, my dentist would point out something to her and then she would sort of nod her head in affirmation. She would also pull on that thing that sucks saliva if the dentist was having trouble manipulating her drill in my mouth or if she had trouble reaching the far end of the tooth.

So she proceeded drilling and drilling and drilling into the tooth, avoiding sensitive painful areas. I have to admit that she’s pretty good, always easy on the gas but quick on the brakes. This also meant she was very slow. In fact, I fell asleep for bit while she was busy with the tooth. It lasted two hours for heaven's sake. It's a good thing that they have one of those rubber things that they wedge into your teeth so that you don't get tired keeping it open.

Finally, having drilled away about half my tooth she pronounced that it could not be saved by mere fillings alone and required a root canal. Of course, at that point I had no choice but to agree because she’d already drilled that far down. A root canal costs 8,000 pesos a tooth and I wanted to find another dentist or clinic that charged at least 2000 bucks less. Unfortunately, that time I was pretty much caught in a bind. So there began my three-week love affair with the root canal. It’s going to take another two weeks until the tooth can finally be filled in with permanent pasta.

She began by introducing some topical anaesthesia around the tooth and injected some local anaesthesia. She drilled away some more until the nerve was fully exposed. Midway she had to inject another dose of anaesthesia because it was still all too painful to bear. She injected the dose directly into the nerve. It was an extremely painful procedure, which, to my delight, ended rather quickly since the anaesthesia was quite fast acting. We had discussed during the course of the drilling that once the nerve had been fully exposed, she would be depositing some medicine that would kill the nerve and that this medicine would be rather painful, once applied and so on after the operation.

I did not know the meaning of pain until the night after that appointment. I was practically debilitated on the couch even after having downed 500 mg of Ibuprofen. I sat with my face down on the sofa and its many pillows, still in the clothes I had worn to the clinic, trying to wish away all the pain. I woke up the following morning still in the same clothes with a feeling that everything had been just a nightmare. But moving my tongue around in my mouth, I found a patch of rather rough temporary past on the tooth which had cause me so much pain the night before. It wasn’t just a dream after all.

Joala and me at our double date. She wasn't my date but her friend who I have to say is soooper sexy. Too bad I don't have a picture of her. I hope I do get to go out with her again.

I love black. It is a colour all too often associated with death and dying. With the putrid decay of matter. Or with the void and nothingness. But I believe it is serene, as is pure white. It is vast in that it is the colour of space. But at the same time it is small in that it marks edges and curves. Much like how it emphasizes the sides and sinews of a woman's body hugged by a flowing black dress. Black is the colour of the night. Without it there would be no moon and there would be no stars. As without evil and temptation, there would be no good. Black is the color of the shadows. It is cool in the middle of a hot summer's day. A fading shelter from light. Blackness creates mystery. It shies away the truth only for us to uncover. Black is the ground on which everything stands without which there would be no colours. It is the colour against which whiteness and purity is defined. And as black is nothing, against it everything else is defined.


This is me in black

For Czarra

Dear Angel,

I promised I would not cry when you finally walked away. I promised I would not shed one tear. I promised I would be strong, that I would not tremble nor whimper. And I promised that I would let you go.

I have kept that promise, Angel. I have honored my word. Not one tear has been shed. I have let out no sob, no whimper. I have remained strong. I have not trembled. Neither have I shook nor shivered. And I have let you go.

But now that I have kept my promise, my heart is broken. Holding back my tears has squeezed it of its life. My restraint has robbed it of its beat. And letting you go has shattered it.

ANGEL
LETTERS TO ANGEL

My heart beats heavily in silent frustration.

I am a traitor and a con, my lord. Greed and desire are the fuel of my passion. And lust the fire of my needs. Long have I hungered for the world and my thirst it seems cannot be slaked. I have lived the life that in my mind I have fought so much against and I have turned my back on what I have for so long stood. I have deceived myself and much of that around me.

But now that I have bared my soul, I know not what to do nor where to go. No longer do I know who I am or for what I stand and live. I have this weight on my shoulders and it is slowly breaking me. It is crushing me. I deserve as much because such is the price of having betrayed myself. But it is all too painful to bear, too complicated to understand and too difficult to accept. My mind is just about to explode because of the torment.

My lord, is it a sin to be burdened so by the pleasures that creep up and into my head? These hands, were they not made to take this world and build it, mould it as I deem fit? And these eyes, were they not created to gleam upon the very earth which you have fashioned?

Green eyes I have, my lord. The green eyes of envy and jealousy. Such is my burden and such is my sin.

Take me away. Take me away now. Take me far away to where my sins cannot follow. To where there is no temptation. To where there is no flesh for which to hunger, no blood nor wine for which to thirst . To a place of pristine white. To a place where my darkness will be swallowed.

here you go elainey!!! ang kulit mo kasi eh!! :P



and this is my cute cute niece, Kyla. :)

One Saturday


I went out last Saturday with this girl with whom I had recently been acquainted. I know this is such a cliché, but we'd decided to meet up at Starbucks Greenbelt for lack of any other ideas. In the end this would prove to be quite a good decision since we had no other plans for the day and the ambience was quite conducive to what would be a 4-hour conversation. We agreed to meet at three in the afternoon. I’d just thought up this time for no particular reason except with the weather in mind. I also thought that, in the event that the day didn’t go as smoothly as planned, the time would make a great excuse to escape.

I’d calculated exactly the amount of time it would take for me to walk from work to Greenbelt such that I would be there about 5 to 10 minutes before 3 PM. I thought she’d be there just in time since she gave me this impression of punctuality. But in fact she was 10 minutes late. Not that this really matters but that it’s just something to mention.

This date was something I had anticipated for quite a few days already. A few days before, she’d told me that I’d given her the impression that I was intellectual, sensitive (riiight!) and quite full of myself. That last one bore down heavily on me. While I knew in some twisted way she had a point, I could not accept it. However, this day was a day of reckoning. She said that our date would either confirm or refute these impressions. She did admit that she was primed, or should I say biased, because she had read my friends’ testimonials on Friendster. Ah, the wonders of technology.

(I am pretty sure that at this point, half of those who actually read this article have all been bored to death. And the other half would be dying in suspense or irritated by my dilly-dallying.)

So at 10 minutes past three, she sauntered along with a big smile, obviously apologetic of her tardiness. She had a classy sophisticated look to her - a mature kind of sophistication. Her gait suggested that she was wearing heels, and in fact she was. She did mention that she loved stilettos although she didn’t wear them that day. However, her clothes didn’t do her much justice. I didn’t like her shirt’s tutti-frutti floral design. While she also mentioned how much she liked Levi’s, her jeans didn’t do justice to her figure either. I also have this thing about girls not wearing belts. Nevertheless, she looked good.

She was, without a doubt, probably the most fidgety date I have ever had. She was uncomfortable, she admitted. It seemed such an understatement. We had to move tables because she couldn’t lean back on the sofa chair and that made her all the more uncomfortable. I was afraid she was going to hurt someone with her arms flailing around in large gestures.

One way or another, she seemed determined at keeping her poise. Though several times she looked liked she was just about to crash and burn. But it was all very amusing to me. I might have thought it was cute even. Her paranoia was getting to her. I was well aware beforehand that she had a predisposition to being overly self-consciousness but not to this extent.

I’d offered to buy her a drink but she gracefully declined, saying she’d rather get her own. I left her at the table thinking that that’d be ample time for her to straighten herself out. She seemed oddly out of place that time, lost even.

She spoke rather fluently, something that I find really attractive in a woman. Although she did have her slips, due mostly to her nervousness but these were all just something to laugh at or about. I admired the fact that she took to my laughter rather positively. She was such a good sport.

Most of the time we talked about her - her life’s mysteries, her quirky misadventures with men, etcetera, etcetera. This was perfectly fine with me because I was mostly interested in learning more about her. Besides, if she wanted to know something about me, all she had to do was ask.

Already she was getting more and more at ease.

It was funny how in the middle of our conversation she would interject with some words I couldn’t understand like “keber” and “chuvanescence”. Gay lingo, apparently. At first I thought “keber” was some pidgin or ghetto way of saying carebear.

She had graduated from a low-end school (forgive my prejudice) in Makati, something which came as quite a surprise because I would not have guessed it by looking at and talking to her. She talked with a flair and intelligence that would’ve suggested something more prestigious. And she also seemed all too introspective or internally cognizant as she so succinctly put it to have graduated from some IT related course. To say the least, I was pleased.

So we talked and talked and talked for what seemed to be four hours but was in fact just a little over three until we find that it was already past six and I had other engagements to attend. It was in a way a good date if not a great one. We went our separate ways in a more or less positive light. We knew each other a little better. If there was another date to follow, I would soon find out. And so we walked. And then we parted.

Teeth

I made an appointment with the dentist a couple of weeks ago.
I swore that I would have everything straightened out within a month.
Yesterday was the day to be reckoned with. Apparently I had 4 teeth that had
to be removed, one at the back on the upper left that was biting into my gums
because it had no opposing tooth definitely had to go. A molar that had long
been giving me problems also had to go. This was just one tooth away from
the one previously mentioned. I also had two teeth, one on the left and the
other on the right, on my lower jaw that were sticking out due to lack of space
and thus definitely are candidates for removal.

Thinking that I should have everything over and done with in one fell swoop, or in
two or three, I had one tooth on the lower left filled in and two teeth on the upper
left removed. Needless to say, the filling process was the most harrowing experience of
them all. It wasn't that painful simply because the dentist was very precise and for
that I thank her very much. It was the anticipation of pain that killed me together
with the shrill hissing whirring sound of the drill. And the sheer awkwardness of
a woman looking inside my mouth and the painfully uncomfortable chair.

After the first one, she kindly asked if I could take another round. All I could say
was, "no more." Then it was off to the removal of the two teeth.

A few dabs of topical anaesthesia here and there then came several injections all around
the teeth. It was a weird yet interesting experience. There was no pain, no feeling
at all. At one point I started tapping my fingers in impatience. I vividly recall the dentist
kept shaking her head because it was so difficult and I had asked her twice if she
was already done.

It was a painless procedure but I soon learned that topical anaesthesia has its limits.
Dricing home was torture. And I was writhing in pain at home. It wasn't exactly my gums
that were painful but the areas where the dentist had penetrated my skin for
the injection.

Now, there are two gaping holes in my jaw and the ever present bitter taste of iron
from blood in my mouth. Once in a while I feel queasy because of the taste and bloated.
And just a few hours ago I was close to regurgitating all the blood that I'd swallowed
the day before.

I would've liked to take pictures of my teeth but I thought it'd be overly gross. But I did take
pictures of the money I spent to pay for the operation. It is money well spent anyway
And the company's reimbursing me for it.

ALAN ROBLES

Four months from now, millions of Filipinos will be taking a nationwide IQ test. It looks like they are going to fail. The test is the presidential election, scheduled for May 10. The problem it poses each voter is this: how will you choose your president and vice-president? Already, it is possible to get an idea of what the answer will be simply by looking at the list of candidates. The leading contenders are an action movie star and two television news presenters, none of whom has any provable political skills or perceivable intellectual depth.

If the opinion polls are any judge, all the public seems to care about is a candidate's popularity, no matter how shallow that person might be. Heavily favoured Fernando Poe Jr., the action film star, announced his candidacy without declaring what he stands for or what he proposes to do if elected. He has still said nothing, and his handlers have carefully kept him away from the media.

His running mate, news presenter and senator Loren Legarda, had desperately shopped around for a party - any party - that would take her. Now, as Poe's partner, she has as her confederates a motley group of candidates who include unrepentant cronies of the deceased dictator Ferdinand Marcos and the son of disgraced former president Joseph Estrada. Judging from her wide grin, Senator Legarda is not in the least bothered about being in bed politically with such dubious characters.

Another television presenter, Senator Noli de Castro, has wound up as the vice-presidential candidate paired with President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo. Senator de Castro, who also shopped around for a party, has not given any clue what he will do if he gets the job.

Yet for all their crass opportunism, entertainment and television personalities consistently top the surveys. Blame it on Filipinos' toxic love affair with popularity. In 1998, in the face of reports that he was an incompetent drunkard, gambler and womaniser, former movie star Estrada was overwhelmingly voted into the presidency. Three years later he is on trial for graft and plunder.

One reason why entertainers are so popular is that they are the faces Filipinos get exposed to most often. In a country where more than 90 per cent of households have televisions, a daily presence on the screen can pay tremendous political dividends. Another reason is that traditional politicians, or "trapos", are usually little better. What the voters have yet to realise is that neither trapos nor entertainers have any goals beyond acquiring the perks and powers of office. No candidate has presented any idea of how to address the country's basic problem: that it is a corrupt nation run largely by and for a small oligarchy. It is a problem that needs social and cultural changes not in the interests of the elite, and beyond the attention span of telegenic candidates. If Filipinos fail their national IQ test this May, it will be because the whole thing has been rigged from the start.

And I say: AYE!

What's Frightening About FPJ?


It's not so much his lack of education that is frightening about Fernando Poe, Jr. becoming President, although this in itself should raise enough alarm bells. It's his lack of political savvy.

In the beginning, he flatly refused to run. Then he wavered and became elusive. Later the hints were thrown here and there. Finally he made the announcement of his intention to run. The decision to run was a result of constant pressure placed upon him by the likes of Sens. Tito Sotto and Ed Angara, both whose power-lust is no secret.

What does this say about the "Da King"? He has no personal will. In becoming President, he most certainly won't have any political will. To say that he will be used is an understatement. The governement will be up for grabs among Sotto, Angara and ...

Loren Legarda. Bolting from the administration party to declare herself an independent, she announced unabashedly she was available to be the runningmate of FPJ. She tried to cloak her ambition behind nationalistic gobbledygook, but utterly failed. Being a popular figure, she was indeed drafted in by Sotto and company to be FPJ's veep.

Before this she openly visited Joseph Estrada in his detention cell, perhaps to get his endorsement, which she naturally denied. Video tapes where then re-run showing how she wept in the Senate after Aquilino Pimentel resigned as Senate President during the emotionally-charged impeachment trial of Estrada. Legarda then was in the side of the prosecution. Apparently politics not only makes strange but sleazy bedfellows.

So, is it safe to believe Sotto, Angara and Legarda would always have a consensus of governance if ever Poe and Legarda are elected? Fat chance! The Philippines would just be one huge pie with 3 large slices and several minor ones.

And what will happen to Da King? Unlike his movies, he'll be left stunned, lost and powerless to do anything. Along with every Filipino.

Above courtesy of the creator of PHILIBLOGS


And my response:

If he does win and, from the looks of things, it is very likely he will, what scares me even more is the imminent realization that the Filipino masses have all but succumbed to stupidity. Stupidity, not in the sense that FPJ is a bad candidate because for all we know he might be the best of us, but in how we as a nation have fallen once again into a trap we ourselves set, how we have been so gullible and predictable that we accept what is clearly debauchery in our faces. So, once more we are the laughing stock of the world. Hope now wanders off beyond my grasp and slowly ebbs away. What ever happened to the so-called Filipino pride?

Have we not had enough of this foolishness? Have we not learned out lesson? How many EDSA revolutions does it take before the mistakes of the past are truly and deeply ingrained in our heads? May 10 will be a dark day for all of us.

There is no pride in this, there is no honor.

this is me, at the Aarhus GOH warehouse



and here just on the way to Aarhus, pretending to study...notice the white fields out the window



and this is me demonstrating the appropriate manner of eating a sandwich on the floor..

Girl with great abs and a great tatoo...great smile too... :)

The Punta Fuego Gang



Joala, Resti, Frances and quite a cheeky me



Since Carol couldn't make it to lunch....



And the rest of the gang..

Frances, me, Resti, EG, Arn, Sonny and Princess

Aarhus...courtesy of Daniel Bastian Tanjung.

that's me...on a straddle carrier in Aarhus...can you see the Michelin Man?



some bowling shoes...i won 6 shots of "gray"..i think it was some turkish stuff...for hitting a strike while the Danish announcer guy was at our lane..



Gangstazzz....

moi et ma soeur, Joann

You've probably already read this somewhere, but it is funny.

"A burglar broke into a house one night. He shone his flashlight
around, looking for valuables, and when he picked up a CD player to
place in his sack, a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark
saying, "Jesus is watching you."

He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight out, and
froze. When he heard nothing more after a bit, he shook his head,
promised himself a vacation after the next big score, then clicked the light
on and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the
stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he
heard, "Jesus is watching you."

Freaked out, he shone his light around frantically looking for the
source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his
flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?"
He hissed at the parrot. "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked,
"I'm just trying to warn you."

The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?"
"Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?", the burglar laughed. "What
kind of people would name a bird Moses?

"The kind of people that would name a Rottweiler, Jesus." "

I just remembered a funny thing that occurred involving my soon to be 3 years old nephew, Drake, and porno santa. We asked him, pointing at porno santa's rather rosy cheeks, what those were and he said "dodo". Say what?! We emphasized that those were santa's cheeks but he stated quite matter-of-factly, "hindi, dodo yan!"

Hilarious.

Hey hey hey...new pics



a couple of pairs of just about the cheapest decent albeit fake shoes you can find. 600 pesos or just about 11 USD each. cool...bought two coz they were so cheap and i couldn't decide if i should get the white or the gray ones...



a great shot of the view from the 51st floor. oddly enough, this was taken from the bathroom. while you may not be able to see it, right next to the window is the toilet. just about a voyeur's biggest dream

Leah, Apple and me in megamall

me and my nephew, drake, on new year's day. wearing a red tie for good luck.



me and porno santa. he's porno santa because of those...uhmm...go figure. I borrowed him from our module center in Karlslunde, Denmark...haha



me and porno santa again.

and that's me playing with a 3650.

Well, a belated Happy New Year to everybody. Here're a couple of funny text messages I got on New Year's.

May you have the Wisdon of Solomon
the Commitment of Jacob
the Courage of Joshua
the Dreamer Spirit of Joseph
the Faitfulness of David and
the Penis of Goliath

I am thinking of running for president. If you support my cause,
join the noise barrage tonight between 11 pm and 1 am. If the
whole nation unites, I will run!