This is really funny:

A man escapes from a prison where he has
been kept for 15 years. He breaks into a house to
look for money and guns and finds a young couple
in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties
him to a chair.

While tying the girl to the bed he gets on top
of her, kisses her on the neck, then gets up and
goes into the bathroom.

While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:
"Listen, this guy is an escaped prisoner, look
at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time
in jail, and hasn't seen a woman in years.

I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex,
don't resist, don't complain, do what he tells
you, just give him satisfaction, no matter how
much he ravages you. This guy is probably
dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us.
Be strong, honey. I love you".

To which the wife responds, "He wasn't kissing
my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me
he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked if
we kept any Vaseline in the bathroom. I told him
where to find it. Be strong, honey. I love you, too."