You've probably already read this somewhere, but it is funny.

"A burglar broke into a house one night. He shone his flashlight
around, looking for valuables, and when he picked up a CD player to
place in his sack, a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark
saying, "Jesus is watching you."

He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight out, and
froze. When he heard nothing more after a bit, he shook his head,
promised himself a vacation after the next big score, then clicked the light
on and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the
stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he
heard, "Jesus is watching you."

Freaked out, he shone his light around frantically looking for the
source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his
flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?"
He hissed at the parrot. "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked,
"I'm just trying to warn you."

The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?"
"Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?", the burglar laughed. "What
kind of people would name a bird Moses?

"The kind of people that would name a Rottweiler, Jesus." "